Sandwich monday: the butter & sugar burger

This is something that exists in Asia: NPR still stubbornly refuses to pay for our travel — something about "sullying NPR's image abroad" and "Ian, how many times do we

have to tell you, you don't really work here" — so we had to make our own version. A disclaimer: We tried putting one together according to the specs of the image above, but no one

could get down even a single bite. We lowered the butter content slightly. PETER: I like the crunch of the sugar. It's like your teeth start decaying immediately. IAN: Having buns full

of butter is actually a great way to explain what happens to you when you eat buns full of butter. IAN: Is this what it feels like to be a fois gras goose? PETER: If there was a PETA for

humans, they'd try to get secret camera footage of us being forced to eat this. ROBERT: Butter AND sugar... I'm not sure which is the wolf and which is the sheep's clothing.

EVA: This is much more satisfying than the Splenda and 'I Can't Believe It's Not Butter' version. IAN: I think the diet version of this is to go back in time and make

completely different choices with your life. IAN: I usually think of butter and sugar as ingredients, not standalone components. Like Hall & Oates. PETER: Really. It's just butter,

sugar, and flour. Like somebody tried to make cookies without reading the manual. LEAH: All of the eight push-ups I've done in my life... gone in an instant. EVA: So white, so fluffy.

It's like a pillow you can eat for breakfast when you wake up. IAN: This is like eating Paula Deen's worst impulse. [The verdict: do not attempt to make one that looks like the

Freshness Burger picture. But with a thin spread of butter and some sugar, it's actually not bad.] Copyright 2020 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.