Barry jacobs: aarp caregiving expert and columnist

Barry J. Jacobs is a clinical psychologist, a family therapist and a member of AARP's Caregiving Advisory Panel. His passion for enhancing support for family caregivers led him to write

or cowrite dozens of articles and several books on the subject, including ___AARP Meditations for Caregivers: Practical, Emotional and Spiritual Support for You and Your Family_ and the

forthcoming _Love and Meaning at 50_. He served as caregiver for his mother and stepfather, both of whom had dementia. Jacobs has appeared as a caregiving expert on _Dr. Phil_ and given more

than 600 presentations for family caregivers, community groups, and medical and mental health professionals. His areas of expertise include behavioral health integration, complex care

management, enhancing family caregiver engagement and supports, team-based care, and provider wellness. A former magazine journalist, he helped put together the first edition of _The Rolling

Stone Encyclopedia of Rock & Roll_. CONNECT WITH BARRY    Facebook   LinkedIn   Twitter   BARRY'S LATEST COLUMNS    MY CARE RECIPIENT’S DOCTORS DON’T RESPECT MY BOUNDARIES A reader

feels pressure from medical personnel who want her to take on a larger caregiving role    MY DAD’S INHERITANCE PUTS ME AT ODDS WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND A reader's father is planning to will

his daughters their childhood home but hasn’t told his longtime live-in partner     MY STEPSIBLINGS ARE ANGRY AT THE COST OF MY MOM’S MEMORY CARE Stepdad left her mother money in a trust,

but now his kids worry there will be no money left for an inheritance    I’M MY 90-YEAR-OLD MOM’S CAREGIVER, BUT I STILL WANT A LIFE. HELP! Advice on how to avoid feeling ‘trapped’ by family

caregiving responsibilities    THE USES AND ABUSES OF SILENCE DURING FAMILY CAREGIVING When keeping quiet can help caregivers in moments of crisis — and when it can hurt    WHAT ARE THE

PROS AND CONS OF RECEIVING PAY AS A CAREGIVER? Money changes everything, including relationships with siblings and other members of a care team    THE STRENGTHS AND CHALLENGES OF IMMIGRANT

FAMILY CAREGIVERS How to balance the cultural traditions of caregiving, while allowing for generational differences    HOW TO HANDLE CAREGIVING’S ‘GUT-CHECK’ MOMENTS Believe in your ability

to deal with any caregiving challenge that comes your way    I’M STILL FLOODED BY WAVES OF SADNESS ABOUT MY FATHER’S EARLY DEATH Losing him when I was 15 changed the course of my life — and

the future of my career    ARE YOU A ‘CONTROL FREAK’ CAREGIVER? Learn how to strike a balance between being responsible vs. demanding    HOW FAMILY CAREGIVING CAN ALTER DREAMS AND GOALS

DEFERRED Post-caregiving life may be different than once imagined — in a good way    HOW HOLIDAY RITUALS CAN COMFORT GRIEVING FAMILY CAREGIVERS  Create a personalized remembrance to honor a

loved one who has passed    HOW WORRIED CAREGIVERS CAN AVOID BECOMING ANXIOUS These strategies can help you observe and stop harmful behavior in its tracks    HOW TO MANAGE YOUR EXPECTATIONS

AS A CAREGIVER Some caregiving challenges have no easy solutions, but there are different ways to approach the issues    HOW TO COPE WITH GUILT WHEN A PARENT ENTERS NURSING HOME  Look at

the big picture to help understand and ease conflicted emotions     3 CAREGIVING STRATEGIES FOR DEALING WITH MEDICAL UNCERTAINTY Learn how to ease the anguish with these tactics    HOW

FAMILY MEMBERS CAN COPE WITH SUDDEN CAREGIVING Training and preparation for future medical issues can help caregivers regain some control    CAREGIVERS WONDER: WHY DOES MY RELATIVE SUFFER?

Ways to find acceptance and avoid the blame game       WHY FAMILY CAREGIVERS SHOULD SAY “NO” Occasionally declining help can assist the care recipient in the long run    HOW TO FORGIVE

OTHERS AFTER FAMILY CAREGIVING ENDS Looking at the past with new insight may help caregivers get over lingering hurt, anger    WHY CAREGIVERS SHOULD BECOME CHAMPIONS FOR OTHER CAREGIVERS

Helping others navigate their caregiving journey can reduce stress and provide emotional benefits    WHY CAREGIVERS SHOULD CONFRONT RATHER THAN AVOID A DEMENTIA DIAGNOSIS Don’t let fear of

the unknown prevent you from taking the steps to help your loved one    HOW CAREGIVING CAN LIBERATE CAREGIVERS FROM PAST TRAUMA Learn ways to face the challenges with dignity and resilience

   HOW CAREGIVERS CAN COUNTER FAMILY GASLIGHTING Recognize the intentional deception and learn ways to stop it    HOW TO HANDLE ‘HARD FEELINGS’ AFTER CAREGIVING ENDS Guilt and emotional

withdrawal can make the grieving process even more difficult    HOW TO WRITE ‘THE LETTER’ TO UNCOOPERATIVE SIBLING CAREGIVERS Make a straightforward appeal for assistance with a loved one

   5 NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS FOR CAREGIVERS TO CONSIDER Positive intentions to embrace in the year ahead    ‘WHEN I’M 64’ — AND HOPE TO NEVER NEED A CAREGIVER Steps everyone can take to

remain independent as long as possible    MANAGING AGING ADULTS WITH PERSONALITY DISORDERS Strategies include staying calm during outbursts and balancing loyalty with limits    WHAT NEW

FAMILY CAREGIVERS REALLY NEED TO KNOW Regular exercise, respite breaks and connecting with others will help you in this challenging role    HOW GUILT-RIDDEN CAREGIVERS CAN SET LIMITS To make

long-term caregiving sustainable, consider some boundaries