Were you cheated on? You’re not alone | members only

>> “It’s been five years for me. I also question my decision to stay. My husband continues to do the right things, and I try to remember that he is not his mistake. I stayed mostly

because of my kids and for financial reasons. I viewed either direction I took at that time as impossibly hard, and this path was easiest for my children. I couldn’t imagine potentially only

seeing them 50 percent of the time. We have rebuilt, our marriage is better, he is a good human and a good father. It’s still hard, and I still occasionally think about what he did and fear

that if I get complacent, it could happen again.” >> “Pre-affair, I always felt safe and secure in believing in his love and trusted him implicitly. I no longer feel that way, and I

miss that. He gets how much he hurt me, and I don’t think he would hurt me like that again, but I don’t fully trust that. He has given me no reason not to trust him; I just don’t 100 percent

trust him. Then I ask myself, am I being fair to him? What’s wrong with me? After eight years, I continue to mistrust him sometimes. Financially, I don’t need to stay. I choose to stay with

him. I don’t regret taking him back, but I do occasionally wonder what my life would be like if I hadn’t. Would I have been more at peace?” These stories come from a chorus of brave,

strong, capable and loving women who have done the healing but still bear the scars. In the cacophony of the full choir, it’s clear that the pain of infidelity is often just a memory away. A

lament often sung, in different and changing melodies, forever. Whether you find your heart echoed in these honest words or whether yours reads differently, know that you are not alone and

that your choice was valid. While a repaired relationship may never feel perfect, honestly, it never was to begin with. And if you feel plagued by self-betrayal today, you can stand up and

begin to rectify that tomorrow. Have any of you been cheated on? How did you deal with being betrayed? _AARP essays share a point of view in the author’s voice, drawn from expertise or

experience, and do not necessarily reflect the views of AARP._